I was reminded this morning that on this exact day last year Nathan had completed his first dialysis treatment at MCV Hospital. My Facebook memories tag said here is a memory a year ago today! Would you like to make any comments..
(Oh Boy! - Tony Stark) I don't know what you see when you look through your memories or even if you go on my FB page and check out my photos. But what I see is a little boy so full of life and hope that it pushed us to go on. Nathan was so very brave. He didn't understand everything that was happening to him but he went through it.
Every member of our family will have taken something different from the experiences of 2014. Each one of us has a different account of events and a few stories to tell. Kinda like the Gospels if you think about it. Matthew, Mark, Luke & John all gave us an account of the life and times of Jesus Christ. They allowed us to glimpse into events that lead up to the Crucifixion, burial and Resurrection. Each of them retelling the events in their style to their audience. Nathan's experience was no different.
When I reflect back to 4/8/14 what immediately comes to mind are all of the actions that preceded that day. How Nathan developed a side condition that robbed him of the minerals in his body and caused fluid build up in his extremities. It was so painful that he would cry out and when we would come to his aid we would find his fingers and his toes twisted with severe cramping. I remember still trying to work and have some semblance of normality. My sense of balance was off and I couldn't tell the difference between the ceiling and the floor. But God had me stay in Luke 1 on and off for the better part of the previous year. I kept wondering why I had to read the same story, the same scriptures over and over not being able to move forward in my bible. But now I understand! Before the storm of change presented itself He needed to prepare me. Through His Word I would learn how to encourage myself. I would learn how to dig deep into that Word He gave me and find comfort and solace! That Word provided me a safe haven when my peace was threatened. That same Word gave me Hope that I was not alone nor forgotten! That very beautiful Word of God showed me how mighty He is! The Great I AM! The Alpha and Omega! Hallelujah My Great Provider! He looked ahead through time and knew that I would need a word to nourish me during this exhausting trial!
He loved me enough to inconvenience me, to drive that Word in me, to prepare me. God is so very, very AWESOME.
I had so many days where I almost forgot how to read. I saw the words on the page but couldn't comprehend the language. My language in my native tongue..I am an American. So many times I didn't think I could breath the weight was so heavy on me. Food had lost its taste and sleep had lost its lure. It was so incredibly hard to keep going; day after day not knowing when the trial was going to end.
But My Abba Father would drop little nuggets along the way. Friends like you who would make a meal for us. Drop a card of encouragement in the mail or send a gift card or financial support. Even when Anthony's boss turned into a Saul and wouldn't help him with his after hours rotation or report to other employees that he was "gunning for him". HE still kept us in His perfect peace. Despite Anthony working all day then spending the night with Nathan so I could get a reprieve and me leaving the hospital before 7 a.m. so I could get Myles, grab supplies and see his dad off to work. He held our family together. And when we got the call in August that a suitable donor was available His Wings covered me as I fell apart. I went in my closet and I lost it. I screamed, I cried, I was filled with terror and uncertainty. I missed my family, my sisters..I wanted my mom and dad; but no one was available to come to our aid. God kept His Glory to Himself....He would not allow us lean on anyone but Him. We had to learn that in our fear we could trust Him.
Oh God, Oh God! Yahweh! My Redeemer..My God I am trying to write through my tears! He kept His Word! He stood by His Promises to me and my family! Hallelujah! Glory to the King!
And He can and will be all that to you and more! Your cross is no less difficult than mine! Your mountains are still mountains even if they are not the same as mine. Our GOD, if you have accepted His gift of Salvation, is the same for you as it is for me! If you have not crossed over and made that pertinent life giving, soul saving decision to follow Christ Jesus. I encourage you to strongly consider it. I will not lie to you and say life will be much easier but with Jesus it is much sweeter. I still get challenged, I still cry, I still wish I wasn't me some days. But God reminds me that I am His and He is with me. To be completely honest His will is sometimes a bitter thing to follow but it is always so much better in the end!
Go with Grace and grow in God. Lord of Lords. King of Kings. Let Him love on you today!
-sj
Joshua 1:5-9
Psalm 27
Deuteronomy 13:6
Romans 8:38
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