A Day In My Life

My fear caught me off guard today Tears kept leaking from my hiding place I am so full I don't know how to release My days are off I feel like I am lost There are no breaks No one to shelter me Who can I call? Who understands me? Who can encourage the encourager? Mom what is for breakfast Mom what is for lunch Mom I need, can I have It never ends Their life shouldn't be interrupted Because their mom is having a moment... Cereal for dinner has never hurt anyone I resolve to find the hidden pleasures in my day I will not be defeated I am a Champion! -sj

I fought and pushed You gently guided I was angry You hugged me with a breeze I was confused Storms inside me were moving At the speed of life You spoke My waters were calmed I am still unsure But I know You I can trust You are my help My soul’s Redeemer Still I struggle with myself I am only living clay Help me when the fragility of my nature Covers me, Entangles me, Stifles me, Overtakes me The shadow of your Majesty Reminds me of how Tiny I am A microcosm of thought and emotions But still You watch over me I don’t understand Your ways You assure me that I don’t have too The lake glistens with life The air is sweetly perfumed The sky is adorned beautifully I am reminded that You are with me My courage has returned Thank you for seeing past my anger I wear your strength as a shield My challenges will not overtake me -sj

I knew when my eyes  finally focused  and acknowledged the new day I wasn't ready I knew when I heard the familiar sounds of the morning I wasn't ready I knew when I wished someone else could fry the bacon Or butter the toast I wasn't ready But that no longer mattered Like a soldier called into battle Ready wasn't an option It's a requirement -sj

I didn't want today No particular reason I just wanted to stay in my dreamscape Sleep is such a sweet release Nothing makes sense But it doesn't have too I don't struggle to understand What's happening around me It's curious and even entertaining My mind is free I love it, I crave it It is my addiction Now you understand why the dawn Was greeted with mourning The chores of the day screaming at me Invading my space My palace of peace Where is my comfort? Who will aide me? Can someone else fix breakfast Can someone else get me coffee 1 sugar, 2 creams please -sj

My Word is Life. It is Truth. It is Prophetic...so I suggest you read the last pages of that book you don't want believe -GOD

I bet you didn't know That I have been to the edge and back I have stared at the abyss and it has talked Smack I bet you didn't know that my love is fierce I will kill a brick over mine I have cried many tears I bet you didn't know that I believe mountains can be moved The blind can see And the lame walk I bet you didn't know that if my mountain did not move Praise will still be in my spark If the darkness still stays If the rain never slows If grief fills some of my days I still remain Maybe a little shaken But never broken I am one who is victorious Do you know who gave His life in service? I don't know if you do know Come to think of it...I don't know you that well either Let's change that because you are my neighbor I am willing If you are Even if you aren't The love in me is -sj

Today I had the privilege of helping a friend out. Her Great-Aunt had passed and she wanted to be at the funeral services. So I packed up my kids, rushed out the house this morning met her and drove to where she could pay her final respects. We talked about a few things, we always enjoy each others company. Eventually we arrived in Chester, (about 25 minute drive from Richmond), found the church where services were being held and dropped our friend off. The boys and I headed to a local restaurant to grab some lunch. I still have not adjusted to the overgrowing hunger associated with adolescent boys. Anyway, as we sat in the restaurant and I watched the boys eat I couldn't help but notice how the people came in, ordered their lunch and searched for a place to eat. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing wrong or offensive about it at all. But what did strike me as interesting  as we sat in the sun-room area, (myself the boys and one other young man at a separate table), was how peopl...

Perhaps we should return to the days of no electricity Back then we sought His light Or maybe we should return to the time where a man had only 2 pairs of shoes 1 for work 1 for worship It maybe a good thing to not have food in over abundance We stayed hungry for Him We shared more We could probably do without so many mirrors Then maybe we could be our brothers keeper Perhaps every town just needs one well Not a faucet in every kitchen Then we would know our neighbor & their children How much more we could talk if we didn't have phones Maybe we should go back to when  a man's word was his bond His yes was his yes and his no was a no And he feared God Can we return to when Eve was proud to be a mom When she didn't look at her children as a curse Maybe then the doors of the clinic will close Blood would stop bringing a profit We should return back to when a Man cared about his honor And knew his offspring by name He worked har...

I will claim You when no one else will I will stand when i am alone I will love without giving in I will speak without fear I will educate without apology i will not humble Righteous indignation i will not take from Your Word I will not forget who I am i am Yours Fearfully and wonderfully You have created me for your purpose I walk I will fight for the weak i will protect the innocent I will not keep my life from You my well being is a non factor The servant is not above The Master with courage I will live In hopeful expectation I will enter Your rest a servants reward is what I seek You will is for me not against me my life will live Your love -sj

Like a brook my tears flow glistening, shining down my face the color of red clay You made me with freckles dotted all over short are the arms You gave me but wide enough to hold a child You completed me without great stature but still gave me dominion Your grace filled me with gifts So that I could bring You Glory Your challenges, my consequences have left their mark I am humbled I am wary of the trappings of pride Your mercy has driven me Now to share You with others Your love has sustained me When the world bites The wound doesn't stay for long Your forgiveness has liberated me Now I know where my power lies I too can forgive Your death gave me life I don't understand I am limited And frail You remind me that acceptance Doesn't need understanding You are God That is enough You made me -sj

I want the world to know my story I want to share with them Your Awesomeness I want to communicate Your beauty that takes my breath away I want to tell them How You have sustained me How You have taken me from a lowly wretched thing To your child un-denied I want to reveal to them That I was a diamond in the rough But you always knew I was I want everyone to know You To love on You To allow You to love on Them To feel the sweetness of Your touch Disguised in a Spring Breeze To know Your endless generosity Painted in every sunrise To believe that You are all that You say You are Evident in every rainbow I want them to not be afraid of Your return But to watch the skies for it I want the world to know You But.... It can't Blessed be the name of the Lord -sj

My God... Thank you You sustained me You covered me You cried out for me You spoke to my deep You held me firm The winds surrounded me The rain howled at me The ground broke open under my feet The mountains screamed I was deaf I couldn't hear Death threatened me But my soul knew You It rested in Your comfort My spirit knew Your peace YAHWEH, ABBA JEHOVAH I know your names I am so so happy you know mine Praises my tears sing to You You are my comfort I rest in You -sj

When I despaired You were there When I lost my sight You were there When I doubted You were there When I didn't want to go on You moved me When I wanted the ground to cover me in silent finality You sent your breeze to remind me I live When I couldn't lift my hands to fight You met me on my knees You strengthen me Where I was weak You set the boundaries of my challenges You sheltered me in the shadow of the mountain You collected my tears How precious I am to You How beautiful You are to me -sj

I was reminded this morning that on this exact day last year Nathan had completed his first dialysis treatment at MCV Hospital. My Facebook memories tag said here is a memory a year ago today! Would you like to make any comments.. (Oh Boy! - Tony Stark)  I don't know what you see when you look through your memories or even if you go on my FB page and check out my photos. But what I see is a little boy so full of life and hope that it pushed us to go on. Nathan was so very brave. He didn't understand everything that was happening to him but he went through it. Every member of our family will have taken something different from the experiences of 2014. Each one of us has a different account of events and a few stories to tell. Kinda like the Gospels if you think about it. Matthew, Mark, Luke & John all gave us an account of the life and times of Jesus Christ. They allowed us to glimpse into events that lead up to the Crucifixion, burial and Resurrection. Each of them rete...

my heart pours out my arms ache to hold your children my thoughts swirl too much to understand I struggle Trying to place logic on chaos Where is my comfort? Where is yours? Truly I weep for you -sj

the pride is silenced it has been broken the young ones are no more taken by a coward one who holds no honor an impostor of justice no cubs to nurse but her breast are full carefully she searches for one feverishly moving thru the brush no glimmer of life to be found still she continues the future has been struck down the lines have been cut but their is still hope her womb will open again -sj

Death is an enigma for us who serve the Lamb it is a right of passage for those who refuse His gifts it is a short way to damnation Death is not the end but it is frightening Death means separation but for His children only for a little while Death brings sorrow grief beyond measure but only until The Morning arrives even Death has a boundary -sj

Mother we mourn with you the ground drenched with the essence of your children Mother we grieve with you lifelessness fills up the room so much promise so many gifts Wasted Mother the fruit of your womb we will not forget our little brothers our little sisters brave until the end we cry with you May our tears bring you strength Mother you are not alone we mourn with you -sj

I thought you were defeated That death had claimed you I came to mourn But you were not there The air isn't cold The trees are not stark Nor barren The cardinal flies around Looking for a nest What is this? How can it be so much life? The earth swells with newness Does it not know you are missing? Does it not know you are gone? My tears can't be contained My chest is burdened with grief I have lost myself I don't see the cherry blossoms I don't smell the grass I don't hear the humming bird But I do feel a breeze... Warm, comforting secure It surrounds me It reminds me My senses open You are all around me I hear your wings Joy returns -sj

National Kidney Walk A Thon Coming to Central Virginia NOVEMBER 7 INNSBROOK PAVILION 9 a.m. http://donate.kidney.org/site/TR/Walk/Virginias?pg=entry&fr_id=7640

I will meet you where I can Some circles we can flow in and out of Seamlessly Blending laughing loving But when you go where I can not I will leave you where you are Concerned for you I will always be Wondering how you are Will frequent my thoughts I enjoy your company when I can As you do mine My loyalty is different than yours I will not part from Him I can't go where you go However, you are always welcomed to travel with me -sj

Now people of Faith also have responsibilities in this arena.  We must not be mean, condescending or prejudice. We must always maintain our professionalism and be ready to explain why God said what He said about marriage. We must always be willing to pray for those who we know are on a dark path and risk their soul's salvation. We must be willing to share that despite all of our faults Jesus Christ still loves us and wants us to come to His side. Because trust He ain't moving over to anyone else's. We must walk in Love!! We must be able to agree to disagree with our neighbors in the LGBT community in a respectful way. We must show love, not hatred or indifference and support members and businesses of the Faith community. We must not try and separate ourselves from everyone else but interact in the hopes of spreading the message of the Gospel. God will hold us accountable for our actions just as He will hold them. If you are not in the business of providing services for ...

Good Morning Readers! I woke up this morning thinking about the latest rounds of discussion regarding the Religious Freedom act in Indiana. Yesterday in response to the discussion I made a post on Facebook taking the stance that some discrimination is completely unavoidable and necessary to protect the interest of the Faith Community. I felt that my comments did not accurately reflect my thoughts so I wanted to take this opportunity to explain myself a little further. In the end you still may not agree with me and that is okay. My job is to educate and empower. Disagreement is par for the course. Let me start by first posting what I said on FaceBook yesterday; Indiana now Arkansas Interesting stuff going on in the political arena and honestly, there is no way for any one who lives contrary to God's design to not be offended.   Discrimination with a purpose and that is to uphold the precepts of God. I won't deny that it is anything else but discrimination. But pe...