Real is my Struggle

It looks like snow

Its cold the sky is streaked with different shades of grey

Muted purples

Distant whites

I wonder what is beyond the clouds?

How bright does the sun shine

Could its warmth

Lift me

Could it remind me

Of why I breathe

I don't want to be Mom today

I don't want to be a Nurse

The Accountant, Travel Coordinator

I don't want to be Chef

I don't want to hear the beep of a machine

That says your pressure is high

I don't want to have to measure your input

Or output

I want to lay across my bed

I want to give in to my grief

I don't want to fight today

I just want to forget my name

.....I can't

I am what I am

I am a Mom

And my love knows no bounds

Emotions are not my chains

Slowly I rise

But I rise

That is all that matters

I need some strength today

Give me a hug

Jesus, help me  I whisper

I feel a breeze on my face

I am He reminds me

It's okay He assures me

I made you who you are

Trust Me to be All you need Me to Be

Because I am

I smile

I feel my strength return

Steadily I enter the kitchen..dinner will be ready in a minute

-sj