Walking My Cross

I often wonder, now that I am a mom of a child who suffers from a chronic illness, how did she do it? How did she watch her son sacrifice himself for the benefit and salvation of mankind? How did she watch Him be persecuted? How did she endure it? Did understanding her son's purpose make it any easier for her to watch the cruelness inflicted upon him? It was these thoughts that inspired this piece. Enjoy,
Souljourner

What was it like
To watch him
be treated so unjustly?
How could you stand to see the flesh
parting from his bones?
How did you endure

Did the sound of the whips
connecting to his person
haunt your dreams?

How could you go on?

I need to know

How did you fight the urge to run to him?
To comfort him
To try and protect him

I need to know

How could you look upon those who treated him
so unfairly
so unjustly
so cruelly
those who forgot their humanity
those who sold their compassion

and forgive them

I need to know

My son suffers
My heart breaks
My mouth is dry
I can't focus
My head is spinning

I cry
I weep
I scream
I want to fight
but where is the enemy

I am beyond tired
I can't taste no matter how sweet the fruit
it is ash in my mouth
My resources are drained
I have little to give

But I go on
Not without hope
Not without expectation
Not without blessed assurance
Not without His promises

Because of your Son
I can walk
this thing that is my cross

Knowing this then...would it had made a difference
too you?

I wish I could know