A Day In My Life

So I like black, You like blue I adore purple But you loathe it Red I embrace You seek to destroy it Should I let go what I know To make you feel justified Lure you into deceptive agreement No I shouldn't I won't But I will love you as my parameters permit and agree to disagree about everything else Souljourner

Marriage is a Holy Covenant between One man and One woman GOD honors what He has defined Marriage is beautiful Honorable Strong and our society's foundation It is the life blood of a healthy structure Proudly I say I LOVE THE INSTITUITION OF MARRIAGE AS GOD DEFINED IT I AM A WOMAN WHO LOVES HER HUSBAND I LOVE BEING A MOTHER I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST Souljourner

Grey,  blue, black fierce determined commanding I tremble I can hear my heart I have lost my voice I can't breathe Storm, leave  me Leave me the choice is mine I want my power It is not yours to give back because it wasn't yours to take away I found it you can no longer hold me I am free I will stand Souljourner

I cry Who hears me I weep Who comforts me I fear Who assures me My strength wanes Who restores me I feel lost Who guides me I am ready to surrender Who rallies me I am quiet Who hears me Souljourner

Every time they prick your body I cringe When I look at your wounds I want to cry Every time they want to see how you are healing I want to jump to your defense I want to protect I want to help I want to take your pain I want to make it better I have to resist becoming bitter I have to accept Thy Will Be Done But I hurt just like you do I am challenged like you are I wait for deliverance for you, for me Control is not mine Neither is the outcome Certainly not the glory Trust is a hard thing but is necessary Emmanuel Help Me Jehovah Jireh I call out to You Only you You are my deliverer You are my shield You are my promise Souljourner

Or For Non-French Speakers: Happy Birthday! May 31, 2014 Marked my 44th birthday. It was great...filled with birthday calls, facebook birthday wishes, some cards and a few presents. We spent the day with extended family and then snuck out for an 8pm movie. As with any birthday I like to take a look at what I have accomplished in the previous year. Honestly I didn't remember much because the last 2 months have been moving at the speed of life; but in this moment that I have to catch my breath sort of speak, I needed to reflect. To draw on past victories, review setbacks and purpose to do better every day. I remember when I was so excited as a child to have a birthday party. My mom would spare no expense and would have the place decorated beautifully with colorful streamers, balloons, party plates and cups. The table would be filled with snacks, drinks, presents and hot dogs. My friends and I played games all in the back yard. The whole family would check in throughout the day....

It is Wednesday of week 10 in our dialysis regimen. So far Nathan has developed an allergy to the anti-clot medicine and is wreaking havoc on his nurse, doctor and mother's nerves. I  am struggling big time today. My anxiety is threatening to take me over..I want to cry, yell and scream. This would be the day that I wished I could fly; just so I could see the clouds, sun, the heavens. To feel the wind on my face..it's like a kiss from GOD. It grounds me! It reminds me that I am not alone. It gives me courage. All in just a few moments. My apologies but I never shared what was bothering me. LIFE! This is just so overwhelming. I fear what I don't understand. I don't know the physiology of the my son or the complexity involved in treating him. I don't want to know why his treatment isn't working I want to know what we can do to fix it. And the treatment be successful. He needs a transplant, his mother needs assurance. He needs love, understanding and the best...