Another year has passed by. One full of blessings and accomplishments. So full are my memories of all the great things I was privileged to witness in this year of 2015. So why in the world am I feeling some type of way?
It's simple really. For all of our gains we still have not been able to elevate our living style to the level of comfortable success. We had two trips this past summer! Two! We have not been able to travel, because of Nathan's health issues, for several years. We couldn't even afford to visit anywhere out of Virginia without help from family. Maybe its because my role hasn't changed. I continue to be a full time homemaker. It's a hard job, but rewarding..did I mention it doesn't pay very well?
There it is. We are eating well; rent is paid; we live in a very nice complex; the kids are in an awesome autism program. Nathan is adjusting to middle school like a champ. Myles is a soldier. Outside of the sniffles and a little coughing from the flu shot Nate has been really well. His labs are steady and we don't have to return for 6 weeks. But yet my frustration is hot. My disappointment with our lack of progress in some areas makes my blood boil.
Honestly, if I would go back into the work world so much could be settled. Elimination of our credit card debt; the re-establishment (for the 100th time) of our savings; the ability to add small items to our home; purchase of a bedroom set for Anthony and I, (we have been married for 15 years and have yet to purchase one. Always took care of kids first); a new van for me and the list continues. So me working outside of the home even on a part-time basis would be perfect! No big deal right? Except for the fact that when I work I don't write. God has charged me with the burden to use my gifts to bring Him Glory!
Remember last year in October? I think I was close to having a nervous breakdown- let me do a quick recap for you: Nate had a successful kidney transplant; I had a large tumor removed from my abdomen; Nate had no less than 4 or 5 surgical procedures; we relocated to a suburb of Richmond; I turned down a possible full time teaching opportunity; Anthony started a new job. By the fall of 2014 I was an emotional wreck, searching for my purpose in life. The Lord reminded me of the gifts He gave me and I got busy completing the first of many written works, 'Degrees of Perfection'.
So why am I feeling the all too familiar tug of frustration?
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