The little one and I were talking one day. I don't really remember what about exactly but somehow or another the conversation went back to the events of 2014.
Over that year he had 5 surgeries and countless procedures..it was a year of fear and uncertainty but GOD in His Grace brought us through it. Sometimes, because of his autism, I really don't know how much he (Nate) is absorbing, how much he is remembering, what exactly is he feeling or what he takes away from the experience. As I have mentioned in earlier postings, Nathan speaks like Yoda in 3rd person and every thing falls into two categories: now or yesterday. Thankfully over the years I have learned to speak Howardeze and can decipher what he says most of the time.
I really wish I could remember the exact circumstances but sadly, I can't. What I do remember I hope will stick with me for the rest of my days. I believe we were in our apartment and I was doing mother-stuff and he mentioned "oh like God". I replied yes and didn't give it anymore thought. A few moments later he said "like talk to God", now he had my attention. I stopped what I was doing and looked at his face and asked him, "Nathan...have you heard God?". "Why, yes in here", he was pointing to his head.
In another unrelated, well I guess it is, event he was in the hospital in January 2015. After we had made our entrance through the emergency room and had gotten settled into our 7th floor accommodations. He politely turned over to me and said "its okay mom, you can leave now". To which I replied "no I am not leaving, I can't leave you all alone". "Mom, God's here I am not alone". "I know baby, but momma won't be able to sleep if I go, so I am staying".
And yet still there is one more incident I would like to share before I submit to you a summation. It is now February 2015 and the kids have been out due to inclement weather 3 days in a row. I wasn't really concerned one way or the other because the previous Sunday Nathan and I had paid a visit to our emergency room friends because he had blood in his urine. Thankfully this time he was not admitted. I was relieved, grateful, and very, very tired. As the days passed I thought it would be a great time to catch up on our bible lessons. Specifically the wonderful stories that make up the Old Testament. After we talked about our subject I usually had some type of visual aid..like a movie or cartoon for reinforcement. Our current story was about Moses so we watched the Prince of Egypt. They were amazed at the portrayal of baby Moses traveling in a reed basket down the Nile. They were shocked at the cruelty of Pharaoh ordering the murder of all the Hebrew male infants.
Sidenote ..if Pharaoh had hung around a few more years he could have just called it a woman's choice and it would have been more acceptable. Choice sounds much better than genocide but I digress. This was a different set of circumstances and a different generation who appreciated life.
Anyhoot the movie continued. I was explaining different points along the way but when we got to the part where Moses met God...I was the one being taught. There Moses was confronted by the burning bush (just an awesome phenomenon)! He was talking with the spirit of the The Living God. So caught up in the moment was I that I almost missed Nathan saying "Oh that's GOD". "Yes, dear it is", "just like when I went into operation, remember". I stopped and looked at him not even really hearing the movie anymore. You've seen God? I cautiously asked "yes like that, like when I went in operation".
I left the room. Not sure what to make of what I just heard. Then I decided it wasn't for me to understand the details. Just to take comfort that he knows The Lord and The Lord knows him. I don't know what him and God talked about when he entered into the operating room. I don't know how his angels surrounded and ministered to him while he was receiving his new kidney. I don't know how God whispered PEACE unto his spirit as he went through so many terrifying trials. I don't know. And it's okay.
Amazing, just simply amazing. Our God is an awesome God, He reigns in Heaven and in Earth. But he takes the time, the mightiest of all Kings..the Creator of the Universe, to speak to a child. To assure His most precious that He is with Him...Always.
I hope you will look for God in your everyday. Not just your challenges and trials but in your peaceful moments. In your uneventful times. When all is quiet in your world. You might just discover that God is closer to you than you think. He is forever concerned with everything concerning you. He knows how many hairs you have on your head. How many days He has fashioned for you. Yes God is all about the details.
Make it a point to be amazed, to get lost in the spirit of wonderment. To fall recklessly into His arms. To be amazed at all that is God.
-Sj
No comments:
Post a Comment