Greetings Reader,
It is a time for sharing! Enjoy:
I was re-reading one of my favorite books You're Late Again, Lord by Karon Phillips Goodman and I had an epiphany! Mrs. Goodman has a wonderful and witty way of exposing your faults not to make you feel bad but to encourage you to seek the Lord. In one of the passages she confessed that "I always wanted to complete the waiting, and I cared little about what benefits were in it for me" (Goodman, 2002) The wait she is referring to is the time in your life where you feel like you are stuck. Can't move forward won't go backward so you are just there. Well I have been in one of these waits for what seems like an eternity and had become very burnt out on life. To the point where I no longer wanted to be involved in any activity, social outing or anything that would require me to get out of clean pj's to make an appearance. But then just when I was settling, at least I thought I was, into my wait..determined to make something productive of the time being spent, a great opportunity was presented to me. I am now working with some of our most beautiful exceptional ed students at one of my local elementary schools. Any other time I would have shyed away from the opportunity because I have my own children who are on the spectrum and it seemed to be a bit much.
I have never been so happy to be so wrong. I love working with these kids! They are sweet, demanding, misunderstood but determined to make their own way. They actually remind me alot of myself and my relationship with Our Father. How so? Well let me explain it to you by using an example. On a regular day one of my students was having a particularly hard time adjusting to the rigors of school. He screamed, he hollered, he tantrumed, he tried to bargain, he demanded, he insulted and finally he he just sat quiet. Before the melt-down he earned a time-out and needed to serve it before joining his class for recess. In those moments as he sat on the rug and I watched the timer and looked upon him with compassion but resignation I wondered if that is what the Lord does with us sometimes? I mean I am never one for a longer than necessary wait and if I do a and b and c is expected then that is what I expect. Not a delay or d. I am impatient and can get frustrated really quick. I don't like to trust, I just want to know. So I mused how many times have I been like my student having an all out fit because a wait imposed on me by the Lord because the lesson I needed to learn would aid me in my success later? How many times have I bargained or got mad or frustrated and demanded answers from the All Knowing God because I refused to trust without seeing it first? God being so gracious and omniscient knows that I can't move on and successfully navigate the next level of challenges life will bring me without getting this particular lesson or lessons first. So He keeps me in a holding pattern, if you will, or a wait.
In this time there is so much too learn and it can be productive and positive if I don't resent or try to manipulate the timing. Abraham and Sarah did that and we are still receiving the consequences of that action. But GOD! He knows and still He doesn't give up on me or you...when the timer alarmed and the student was allowed to join his classmates we went over what not to do next time and I hugged him and sent him out the door. He got his freedom but when he gets the lesson he will be even more free, so much so that he will not want to return to what got him there in the first place.
I want to be like that student so I have made a conscious choice to enjoy my wait. Enjoy the journey without knowing how it all fits together but understanding my work is a necessary component to GOD's unfinished plan. Unfinished because I am still on His wheel being shaped, molded, corrected, built up, polished and finished to perfection.
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