CROSSROADS

CROSSROADS...

It's the spring of 2020. COVID 19 has just recently created a pandemic in the United States. As a result my job has been suspended (sort of speak) and my kids, like so many others, are remanded to stay home to avoid exposure to the virus. So we are making due by playing lots of games; creating flexible schedules; journaling; interacting with our neighbors (social distancing rules observed..for the most part) and spending a lot of time together. This is definitely the age of digital convenience..we can talk thru our computers, tele-commute to our jobs, and conduct class via internet. We can also hold family meetings and Cinco de Mayo celebrations within our circle but not our zip code. Its challenging but exciting at the same time. 

The other day I was conversing with my inner circle of trusted relations. We laughed and made fun of each other, caught up, re-told past stories and mused over events. Did I mention there was a lot of laughter? All of it was fine fun but somewhere the conversations got a little bit off track then completely derailed. It had me wondering, as the chief offender, if the Lord was looking in on us (and He always is) what would He think of our talk? Was it becoming of our offices? Would He think the subjects of our conversations were "okay"? Yes and no..unfortunately. In my pursuit of fun...I kinda thought hey, I can put that part of my nature on the shelf. The thought wasn't even anything that I pondered or wrestled with it was literally a split second decision to walk in my flesh. I mean c'mon I was just letting my hair down for a minute sort to speak. Its cool, no one is getting hurt and its just us so its all right. Right?

No. It isn't. It never is. If I can find myself compromising so quickly what does that say about my witness? What does that say about my commitment? What does that do to my testimony about the Living God Jesus Christ? Compromise is compromise no matter how big or how small.  I will walk out of a movie because I object strongly to a scene or not purchase a product because I know what the company supports is contrary to my belief system. In those cases I'm pretty straightforward and I don't blink an eye. But somehow on other issues I was jaded. Not hot or cold.

It's the behind closed doors that seems to ensnare me. The need to prove 'I am the still the same girl that my circle has always known.' Well I am but I'm not. God says I am a new creature once I accept His son as my Lord and savior. Constantly we are all being molded into the image of Christ. Old things being cut away that are unproductive or even harmful to us or others in our life-walk. 

Am I saying that Christians, blood-washed believers can never have fun? OF COURSE NOT!! Give me a break. I am saying, for me, that after I have reflected on the time spent with the closest people in my life personal redirection was required. Fact: 1. I am always on duty for Christ; 2. If there is an area that I will not allow Jesus to have access to then I need to repent and re-evaluate; 3. How can I be an effective minister of the Gospel of Christ if I can't walk in self-control...at all times. Not perfection (there is no such thing by the way). Perfection relies on self to set and reach the standard. Clearly, I need to be thankful for the new rations of grace and mercy daily not to mention the open door of forgiveness. All of which are constantly supplied by the Holy Spirit. 

The only way that I can be a good fruit bearing servant is to allow God to permeate every part of my life including the part that wants to cut-loose from time to time. To coin a phrase it's okay to have fun but you gotta know how. It's a little embarrassing at almost 50 years old I would need to admit this? Then I remember that living sacrifices rarely stay on the alter. Paul mentions how we must die to ourselves daily especially when we don't think we have to. I have to ask myself, self what is your desire? To feed your flesh by pleasing yourself and never get full or to run after Christ and never be in want? 

Where does the whole crossroads shtick fit in? Simple, either I am going to give Christ my all or none at all. I refuse to be lukewarm. I desire for my life to be pleasing to the Lord. I desire to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant". Therefore I must strive to behave in a way that always brings the light of Christ to the forefront. 

If I am the only lamp that is in the room, let me shine brightly, let the Lord's light not be diminished in me so that people are lead to Christ or encouraged in their faith, if by no other means then by the consistency of my behavior. 

By the way, the Lord did not convict me of anything...He didn't have to. My desire to live for Him caused a moment of self-reflection and I knew, once again, I needed to run to His mercy seat and ask for His help. I can do nothing in my own strength but I can do all things (including conquering self) through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. 

Notes on Christian conduct are found in the book of Philippians.

See Revelation 3:16 for further explanation of lukewarm reference