I thought to myself wow and what are you doing? Another day filled with 'let's find something to do' activities all the while asking the same old questions like: What am I doing here, what is my purpose, what should I be accomplishing in this season? How did I get here? Why am I here. Needless to say I was having a moment. Come to think of it I have been having a lot of moments as of late. Still I spoke when spoken too and even forced a couple of smiles. I couldn't wait to get out of the building just so I could be alone with my thoughts.
The weather was a perfect 52 degrees and it was raining, quite heavily, in spurts. As I walked the short distance to the car I thought, " I could walk in the mall" but the rain and the cool air was so inviting I opted to take my morning walk outside despite the gloomy skies. Besides why would I have walked in a mall around a bunch of stuff that I couldn't afford any way.
Yes I was one big ball of happiness.
I arrived at my preferred location agitated and dreading the exercise. But I pushed myself because I knew that physical activity was the best way to clear my head and talk with The Lord. I asked Him questions, I expressed how I was feeling and even confessed to some of the desires I had. Which all centered around an elevated state of living. That wasn't a lot to ask for after all He said He would meet all of my needs and a few of my desires. So why not ask for what He knew I wanted anyway?
Eventually, I moved on to hear a message from one of my favorite pastors and there He was. GOD speaking to me thru The Word. I was humbled and my complaining soon turned into statements of gratefulness. I was so happy GOD was merciful enough to answer my questions by just simply answering one. I was created to bring Him GLORY!
In my mad pursuit of happiness I thought fulfillment would come from a career so I asked for grace and completed (3) degrees; I thought I would surely be satisfied with a nice home, maybe a 4-bedroom craftsman; Or maybe I needed a new van..but then I would be washed out by the fact that we are hand to mouth, living paycheck to paycheck. Which lead me back to what I am doing here? I need to be out making money so we can afford more stuff.
Did you know all of that is vanity? Material and useless in the sense that if it does not bring GOD glory then it holds no weight. If it holds no weight then what is the purpose of pursuing the course? Where is the reward? The acquisition of things is cool but that isn't all there is nor is it our sole purpose. Remember naked we came in the world and naked we are leaving. Not to mention there is no guarantee that the thirst we are seeking to quench will be found in these empty items.
No. Not at all. The truth is only what we do for Christ will last. Only in seeking Christ will we be fulfilled. Only by hearing and obeying the Lord will we be walking in our calling. Which is to glorify Him. The scripture says:
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
I had it all wrong! The correct formula for happiness is: Seek GOD +Obey GOD= Days full of contentment x happiness to the 3rd power.
I am determined to live in the purpose He placed in me. I will probably always need to die to self because His ways are not mine..but at least I know His outcome is infinitely better than anything I could ever hope for. Not just for me but also for those whom He places in my pathway.
Remember enriching someone else is always better than feeding riches to one's self.
-Souljourner
www.harvest.org (a new beginning: Your Number Is Up 1-3)
www.biblegateway.com
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