Technology is a wonderful thing. It is both a gift and a curse depending on how one uses it. Sure it has made our lives easier, it has helped us live with a better quality of life but it has also made us cold, complacent and a little worse for the wear. Now before you reject my comments completely let me explain my position.
Before television families would sit around at the dinner table and have, what is becoming a lost art, conversation. It was a time to bond, to inform and to share. It also set a precedent for the up and coming generations to value time with one another and pass down the craft of slow cooking. Before video games kids never had to be told to go and play 20 minutes a day - because that is what they did. They made up cool games, jumped rope, played jacks and had block bike races. Again there existed a sense of community and belonging. Before my husband and I bought smartphones we actually had conversation instead of jumping at the first notification of something new on Facebook I mean we actually sat in our room last night, half watching the Sunday night game, barely speaking a word to one another. What in the world? We were too busy playing CandyCrush on our phones trying to beat our friends scores! At some point I thought...what is wrong with this picture? We used to converse, laugh, talk, plan and complete crossword puzzles. I decided right at that moment that I wanted my family time. I want to not lose touch with my spouse. I don't want tech replacing anything that only human interaction can give. So what does that mean for the family Howard? For starters no tech at night, except for when Mr. Howard is on call; consistent weekly family game nights; no more t.v. after 6pm and lastly shutting that phone off after 8pm. I know to some of you this may sound desperate and controlling; but out of desperation the true nature of our humanity is brought forth. I want my family time. I want to build strong family ties in our children. I want us all to have good memories of our time together. I want to leave an effective legacy to be mimicked for the up and coming generations in my house. I want to know my children better and I want to love my spouse more and to me I can do both by spending more un-distracted and un-rushed time with them. Now you will have to do what is right for your family dynamic. Some of you have the kids in winter sports so several of your evenings are spent in practices or whatever. Some of you are in the 'year-end' crush at your job and are spending long hours at your desk. I didn't say it would be easy but nothing worth fighting for ever is. You set your own boundaries and purpose to live within them. Because when all is said and done and you are too old for any of this to matter anymore, who will you look to to comfort you? Your family maybe? No your family definately.
America, we need to set our priorities in order. The family is under attack and we must defend it by any means necessary. Start by buying popcorn, the kind you must cook on the stove, and watch a movie with your kids! It will be time well spent.
Walk in Peace all today and the days to come!
Souljourner Howard
Monday, October 21, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Acceptable Levels of Success or Acceptable Limits? You Decide
Good Morning, I trust all is well with you and yours.
So yesterday I was at the hospital clinic for my son's 90 day check up. It is a specialty clinic that services kids with kidney disease and related issues. Just a little background, our youngest son was born with 'Prune Belly Syndrome", which is a 3 in 1 punch. It causes deformation of the abdomen muscles, which lead to bladder issues which effect the kidneys. So with medicine, diet and prayer he has been sustained and is a happy 4th grader. Did I mention he and his brother are autistic? Yes they are, talk about a full plate - But God is able to sustain me.
I am at a point in my life where I am tired of kicking against the goads or thorns. I thought that if you work hard, studied and was faithful to your job then you would reach acceptable levels of success. I never really thought about including GOD in my plans or eventually graduating to asking Him what His Will is and submitting mine to Him. But giving us these two boys with all of their needs has brought both my husband and I closer to Him. I will not sugar-coat anything that I give you, that would be a great disservice to you, honestly this journey has been more than challenging. Their have been days I have been scared out of my mind. Days where I wanted to walk into the sunset and never return. Days where I have wanted to forget my name because I was just simply overwhelmed. I am so much better now, we are so much better now. Do I still get scared? Absolutely - but I remember what the Lord said "I will never leave you or forsake you" and that I am more than a conqueror - but my favorite is "My peace I leave unto you" .
Fast forward to now. God is stripping away my definition of success..I have to die to my dreams and aspirations because my life is not mine. I am a servant of the Most High my life is His. He is also showing me that I am not losing anything but gaining everything. My goal was to be fulfilled and I was going about it all in the wrong way. So God got my attention by giving me these beautiful boys with all of their imperfections, strengths and places where they need more support. Myles and Nathan have opened up a whole new world to me. Myles teaches me to love during and after mistakes. He teaches me that it is ok to make mistakes and he encourages me to habitually forgive quickly and unconditionally. Nathan has taught me the power of prayer. Now I was brought up in the church, baptist, as a matter of fact but I didn't no more believe in the power of prayer than the man on the moon. That is another story for another day. But in the early days we had to learn about Nathan's sickness and understand that this will be with him but it isn't a bad thing. That boy kept me on my knees because no matter how we lived in the hospital, no matter the report we were given from the doctors - I did not want the Lord to take him. I was willing to do whatever was needed to ensure that kid would survive. That included leaving my position at a good company. Did I mention I was the bread winner for the family? Again another story for a another day. Little did I know that was the beginning of my cleansing, the beginning of my faith walk, the beginning to the rest of my life. I had to rely on GOD - there was no one else. After I started to consistently rely on the Lord then I could be more sensitive to His urging.
In summary I do have a job - to share my journeys with you; to be the best mom I can be to all three of our kids; to be the best wife to Anthony and the best big sister to my sisters. And more important than all of these is to be the servant GOD made me to be. There is no acceptable level of success in GOD - He is the GREAT I AM, the Alpha and Omega - The Author and Finisher of my faith. Therefore all things are possible in and through Him. Levels, in this instance, are representative of limitations. There are no limits in Christ. Psalm 23 & Psalm 91 for your strengthening
Be strengthen in your walk this day!
With Love,
Souljourner Howard
So yesterday I was at the hospital clinic for my son's 90 day check up. It is a specialty clinic that services kids with kidney disease and related issues. Just a little background, our youngest son was born with 'Prune Belly Syndrome", which is a 3 in 1 punch. It causes deformation of the abdomen muscles, which lead to bladder issues which effect the kidneys. So with medicine, diet and prayer he has been sustained and is a happy 4th grader. Did I mention he and his brother are autistic? Yes they are, talk about a full plate - But God is able to sustain me.
I am at a point in my life where I am tired of kicking against the goads or thorns. I thought that if you work hard, studied and was faithful to your job then you would reach acceptable levels of success. I never really thought about including GOD in my plans or eventually graduating to asking Him what His Will is and submitting mine to Him. But giving us these two boys with all of their needs has brought both my husband and I closer to Him. I will not sugar-coat anything that I give you, that would be a great disservice to you, honestly this journey has been more than challenging. Their have been days I have been scared out of my mind. Days where I wanted to walk into the sunset and never return. Days where I have wanted to forget my name because I was just simply overwhelmed. I am so much better now, we are so much better now. Do I still get scared? Absolutely - but I remember what the Lord said "I will never leave you or forsake you" and that I am more than a conqueror - but my favorite is "My peace I leave unto you" .
Fast forward to now. God is stripping away my definition of success..I have to die to my dreams and aspirations because my life is not mine. I am a servant of the Most High my life is His. He is also showing me that I am not losing anything but gaining everything. My goal was to be fulfilled and I was going about it all in the wrong way. So God got my attention by giving me these beautiful boys with all of their imperfections, strengths and places where they need more support. Myles and Nathan have opened up a whole new world to me. Myles teaches me to love during and after mistakes. He teaches me that it is ok to make mistakes and he encourages me to habitually forgive quickly and unconditionally. Nathan has taught me the power of prayer. Now I was brought up in the church, baptist, as a matter of fact but I didn't no more believe in the power of prayer than the man on the moon. That is another story for another day. But in the early days we had to learn about Nathan's sickness and understand that this will be with him but it isn't a bad thing. That boy kept me on my knees because no matter how we lived in the hospital, no matter the report we were given from the doctors - I did not want the Lord to take him. I was willing to do whatever was needed to ensure that kid would survive. That included leaving my position at a good company. Did I mention I was the bread winner for the family? Again another story for a another day. Little did I know that was the beginning of my cleansing, the beginning of my faith walk, the beginning to the rest of my life. I had to rely on GOD - there was no one else. After I started to consistently rely on the Lord then I could be more sensitive to His urging.
In summary I do have a job - to share my journeys with you; to be the best mom I can be to all three of our kids; to be the best wife to Anthony and the best big sister to my sisters. And more important than all of these is to be the servant GOD made me to be. There is no acceptable level of success in GOD - He is the GREAT I AM, the Alpha and Omega - The Author and Finisher of my faith. Therefore all things are possible in and through Him. Levels, in this instance, are representative of limitations. There are no limits in Christ. Psalm 23 & Psalm 91 for your strengthening
Be strengthen in your walk this day!
With Love,
Souljourner Howard
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Stop, Look and Listen
This morning I was sitting in my living room listening to the birds chirping and enjoying the stillness of the house. The children were off to school courtesy of my mom, Anthony was gone to work and there I was. Alone in the beautiful silence.
Have you ever just sat? With your eyes closed...just focused on a fix point like the miracle of breathing or in my case the chirping of my feathered friends. I have found in that time I feel so much more closer to the LORD; in that time is when I have the most peace, it is also where I find myself most contented. That is a glorious gift in itself because I am a goal-oriented person and I always need the proverbial carrot hanging in front of me. In my mindset it never accord to me to enjoy the journey while traveling to my destination. It was always the destination that I was obsessed with. What is wrong with this mentality is that you fail to see all of the beautiful scenery surrounding you. You also miss valuable opportunities to enjoy the small things, which, when you think about make up the fabric of your life. Who knew I would get so much joy watching my youngest son dance? He dances to everything in and out of his unmentionables! Its like he doesn't care he is just so happy. Or my eldest son and his milestones like remembering to make up his bed or take the trash out without me asking. Or the best one yet, him asking his dad how his day was. It may not sound like anything to you but all of these things have put such a smile on my face. These moments have really made me take stock in what matters. I am freed from my obsessive goal attaining nature and I like it. I like laughing at nothing in particular, going with the flow of the day and just enjoying the art of breathing.
I realize that once I get back on my feet - I will not always be able to get back to this place of peace absolute but the challenge is always trying to do so.
In summary - Stop, Look and Listen. Enjoy the day, watch the sunrise or the sunset. Admire your spouse just to admire her. Leave work early, if you can, and grab the kids early go to the park or watch them ride their bikes. In all things Thank GOD for the gifts he has entrusted you with and purpose to enjoy your life no matter where you are. For your strengthening - Psalm 105: 1-7
With Love,
Souljourner
Have you ever just sat? With your eyes closed...just focused on a fix point like the miracle of breathing or in my case the chirping of my feathered friends. I have found in that time I feel so much more closer to the LORD; in that time is when I have the most peace, it is also where I find myself most contented. That is a glorious gift in itself because I am a goal-oriented person and I always need the proverbial carrot hanging in front of me. In my mindset it never accord to me to enjoy the journey while traveling to my destination. It was always the destination that I was obsessed with. What is wrong with this mentality is that you fail to see all of the beautiful scenery surrounding you. You also miss valuable opportunities to enjoy the small things, which, when you think about make up the fabric of your life. Who knew I would get so much joy watching my youngest son dance? He dances to everything in and out of his unmentionables! Its like he doesn't care he is just so happy. Or my eldest son and his milestones like remembering to make up his bed or take the trash out without me asking. Or the best one yet, him asking his dad how his day was. It may not sound like anything to you but all of these things have put such a smile on my face. These moments have really made me take stock in what matters. I am freed from my obsessive goal attaining nature and I like it. I like laughing at nothing in particular, going with the flow of the day and just enjoying the art of breathing.
I realize that once I get back on my feet - I will not always be able to get back to this place of peace absolute but the challenge is always trying to do so.
In summary - Stop, Look and Listen. Enjoy the day, watch the sunrise or the sunset. Admire your spouse just to admire her. Leave work early, if you can, and grab the kids early go to the park or watch them ride their bikes. In all things Thank GOD for the gifts he has entrusted you with and purpose to enjoy your life no matter where you are. For your strengthening - Psalm 105: 1-7
With Love,
Souljourner
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Cheese-ing for Children's Hospital
Here we (Anthony and I) are with a few of our volunteer friends. Our kids have opened a new world to us!
A Flip of the Coin
Life continues to amaze, confound and enlighten me at the same time. As I sit here in recovery mode I get to have a ring side seat of observation. My sons are trying their best to ride the waves of change in our home. Their routine has been disrupted and the security of 'mom's way' has been challenged. Instead of flowing like water uninterrupted in a brook, their morning routine is a mixture of the familiar and new. Some mornings their Nana helps them, some mornings dad, who lacks culinary skills, fixes their breakfast or dinner; rarely in the past 3 weeks have I, their mom, given them anything familiar.
This is where I get to see the man I committed my life too, struggle to make bacon and eggs; struggle to keep the kids on task with the daily routine; soar when it comes to helping with homework - especially science all at the same time checking in on me to make sure he can try and meet any of my physical needs. Oh and I forgot to mention that he is also challenged to complete this dance in front of his mother-n-law. Whew that is mouthful. But he does it the best that he can never losing sight of what the goal is and that is to service the household so that it can keep running. To serve his children so that they can learn to trust and rely on him as much as they do me. To serve his mother-n-law so that honor is brought to my father's house and peace is maintained. This is not an easy task to balance as the counterweight has been temporary sidelined. But he is doing it, in his way on his terms. I don't always agree with his method but then I am reminded of why GOD placed man and woman in the bond of marriage to raise a family. We need both sets of skills that each one can offer. There are so many things I can take away from in this time of healing, but the most prevalent is the importance of peace. My spouse does not cut toast like I do but does it really matter? No it doesn't. Having a new sense of appreciation of him as he attempts to juggle his duties and mine - well yes that is what matters. Showing compassion, patience and understanding also matters. He is stressed too. Remembering my mantra doesn't hurt either - To know your mate you must love your mate and to love your mate you must know him - (Degrees of Perfection, Winter 2013)
Have you ever traded roles with your spouse? you should it would help bring more understanding and appreciation into your relationship - sickness has a way of doing that but don't let that be the catalyst let love be it.
Purpose to enjoy all the gifts of today that God offers,
With Love Souljourner Howard
This is where I get to see the man I committed my life too, struggle to make bacon and eggs; struggle to keep the kids on task with the daily routine; soar when it comes to helping with homework - especially science all at the same time checking in on me to make sure he can try and meet any of my physical needs. Oh and I forgot to mention that he is also challenged to complete this dance in front of his mother-n-law. Whew that is mouthful. But he does it the best that he can never losing sight of what the goal is and that is to service the household so that it can keep running. To serve his children so that they can learn to trust and rely on him as much as they do me. To serve his mother-n-law so that honor is brought to my father's house and peace is maintained. This is not an easy task to balance as the counterweight has been temporary sidelined. But he is doing it, in his way on his terms. I don't always agree with his method but then I am reminded of why GOD placed man and woman in the bond of marriage to raise a family. We need both sets of skills that each one can offer. There are so many things I can take away from in this time of healing, but the most prevalent is the importance of peace. My spouse does not cut toast like I do but does it really matter? No it doesn't. Having a new sense of appreciation of him as he attempts to juggle his duties and mine - well yes that is what matters. Showing compassion, patience and understanding also matters. He is stressed too. Remembering my mantra doesn't hurt either - To know your mate you must love your mate and to love your mate you must know him - (Degrees of Perfection, Winter 2013)
Have you ever traded roles with your spouse? you should it would help bring more understanding and appreciation into your relationship - sickness has a way of doing that but don't let that be the catalyst let love be it.
Purpose to enjoy all the gifts of today that God offers,
With Love Souljourner Howard
Monday, October 7, 2013
Everyday Purposes
Greetings Readers,
First let me apologize for my long absence. I will purpose to do better. Isn't that the truth? The last statement I mean. Everyday we make promises that we never intend to keep, which we don't do on purpose, but has turned into an acceptable practice in American culture.
Take the statement " Let me Call you Right back" What is wrong with that? Nothing except given the time of day and all of the items left on your to do list you probably will have to continue the conversation on a later date; the mistake was made when you placed the term 'right' in the sentence. An expectation was created that shortly the conversation would be continued. I am terrible at this so I am trying to get better. Another one of my bad habits is making the promise not to make a mistake again. Really? Life is a learning process and for those of us who prefer the structure of an expected turn of events everyday this leads to a long list of things that make us miserable and we quickly say I promise not to do such and so. And although somethings are really bad and should be avoided at all costs I refuse to use that statement again. Purposing to do better is an acknowledgement of my frailness and my sometimes refusal or ability to make to right choices. Purposing says I will continue to make mistakes, prayerfully not the same ones, but their will be errors. As long as I am on this side of the grave and I am now o.k. with that. Purposing allows me to let go of the invisible ruler I measure myself with; it allows me to lay down the score board of all the goof-ups I have made and the consequential self -judgement that comes after it. I am allowing myself to be me with all of the good, the bad and the ugly. I wanted so desperately to come to a point of agreement so I can enjoy my life and everything that comes with it. Well, I am at that place where I realize I can't get it right, I won't get it right and its ok. That is the whole reason why The Christ allowed Himself to die in my place. Sobering thought huh?
Now does this mean I am off the 'hook' and can just run through my day rip-shod, (is that an actual phrase),with no accountability to my actions? Absolutely not. I said I acknowledge my limitations but I am free to strive to do better. I am not a quitter or a complacent individual, quite the opposite is true, but now I acknowledge that I have the right to be free from fault finding, self condemnation, criticism and fear. It is replaced with acknowledgment of my need of Jesus Christ daily and the fact that my actions do not dictate His love for me. So I don't have to beat myself up. Will I continue to purpose to do better... undoubtedly. Will I still be disappointed or angry when I mess up...yeah probably, but I won't stay in that place for longer than necessary. Will I look forward to the twists and turns that life brings, not really but I am purposing to do better.
For your joy and strengthening...Romans 4:12-16; Romans 8:1,16-17 & 31-39;
First let me apologize for my long absence. I will purpose to do better. Isn't that the truth? The last statement I mean. Everyday we make promises that we never intend to keep, which we don't do on purpose, but has turned into an acceptable practice in American culture.
Take the statement " Let me Call you Right back" What is wrong with that? Nothing except given the time of day and all of the items left on your to do list you probably will have to continue the conversation on a later date; the mistake was made when you placed the term 'right' in the sentence. An expectation was created that shortly the conversation would be continued. I am terrible at this so I am trying to get better. Another one of my bad habits is making the promise not to make a mistake again. Really? Life is a learning process and for those of us who prefer the structure of an expected turn of events everyday this leads to a long list of things that make us miserable and we quickly say I promise not to do such and so. And although somethings are really bad and should be avoided at all costs I refuse to use that statement again. Purposing to do better is an acknowledgement of my frailness and my sometimes refusal or ability to make to right choices. Purposing says I will continue to make mistakes, prayerfully not the same ones, but their will be errors. As long as I am on this side of the grave and I am now o.k. with that. Purposing allows me to let go of the invisible ruler I measure myself with; it allows me to lay down the score board of all the goof-ups I have made and the consequential self -judgement that comes after it. I am allowing myself to be me with all of the good, the bad and the ugly. I wanted so desperately to come to a point of agreement so I can enjoy my life and everything that comes with it. Well, I am at that place where I realize I can't get it right, I won't get it right and its ok. That is the whole reason why The Christ allowed Himself to die in my place. Sobering thought huh?
Now does this mean I am off the 'hook' and can just run through my day rip-shod, (is that an actual phrase),with no accountability to my actions? Absolutely not. I said I acknowledge my limitations but I am free to strive to do better. I am not a quitter or a complacent individual, quite the opposite is true, but now I acknowledge that I have the right to be free from fault finding, self condemnation, criticism and fear. It is replaced with acknowledgment of my need of Jesus Christ daily and the fact that my actions do not dictate His love for me. So I don't have to beat myself up. Will I continue to purpose to do better... undoubtedly. Will I still be disappointed or angry when I mess up...yeah probably, but I won't stay in that place for longer than necessary. Will I look forward to the twists and turns that life brings, not really but I am purposing to do better.
For your joy and strengthening...Romans 4:12-16; Romans 8:1,16-17 & 31-39;
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